Currently, I have no heat. I'm freezing.
The gas furnace has quit igniting. The repair guy has been called, but isn't returning our call. The gas logs aren't working either. Clif went to light them as a flame came out of the main valve, not good. As a result the gas to the house has been shut off, even if the repair calls and comes by I don't see how this will resolve hte situation.
So not only is the heat in the house not working, but there is no other way left to heat the house.
I have one small space heater and it clearly isn't doing the job. I'm losing feeling in my fingers so I must go now.. I think I'm going to spend the day in bed under the electric blanket.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Yep, I thought so
Well,
First of all, I saw Brokeback Mountain. Very good movie. Very sad movie. I don't cry, but if I did and if I admitted to it, I would have cried all the way through. It stays with you for a while: the idea that love has to hidden by a cover story and other innocent people (cover story spouses for instance) have to be made to suffer for societies ignorance. It is avery sad commentary on our world, becasue you know that even now there are people out there who are still hiding and for some very good reasons. No one should have to hide who they are. Everyone has a right as a living creature to be themselves and love whoever they want.
Afterall, we don't always control these things. It is a rare peson who says, "I think I'm going to become gay" or "I think I would prefer to be gay" especially in today's society. (Well, okay I know a few wives that might have made that last statement ...but I don't think they actually meant it. I think it was frustration at the male of our species and what happens to them once they marry.) I do think genetics has a bit to do with these things. Not in all cases mind you, but some role in many cases.
I won't say I understand, but as someone who lives in the south, I do understand about doing what is expected of you( as a woman) and I have an inkling of how drastic the consequences can be if you don't. This is mostly because I rarely do.
I really am suprised this movie is playing in Chattanooga . I'm even more suprised that the ever-protesting Christian right hasn't come out in mass to stop the "moral decline of society". BLAH.
I did managed to shut up the ever yapping, high school educated receptionist at work by telling her: 1. I saw the movie, 2. I liked the movie, 3. I have gay friends, and 4. I support love in any form that doesn't involve a. children or b. animals.
She looked confused and went back to her cubicle. She didn't speak to me the rest of the day. It was wonderful.
First of all, I saw Brokeback Mountain. Very good movie. Very sad movie. I don't cry, but if I did and if I admitted to it, I would have cried all the way through. It stays with you for a while: the idea that love has to hidden by a cover story and other innocent people (cover story spouses for instance) have to be made to suffer for societies ignorance. It is avery sad commentary on our world, becasue you know that even now there are people out there who are still hiding and for some very good reasons. No one should have to hide who they are. Everyone has a right as a living creature to be themselves and love whoever they want.
Afterall, we don't always control these things. It is a rare peson who says, "I think I'm going to become gay" or "I think I would prefer to be gay" especially in today's society. (Well, okay I know a few wives that might have made that last statement ...but I don't think they actually meant it. I think it was frustration at the male of our species and what happens to them once they marry.) I do think genetics has a bit to do with these things. Not in all cases mind you, but some role in many cases.
I won't say I understand, but as someone who lives in the south, I do understand about doing what is expected of you( as a woman) and I have an inkling of how drastic the consequences can be if you don't. This is mostly because I rarely do.
I really am suprised this movie is playing in Chattanooga . I'm even more suprised that the ever-protesting Christian right hasn't come out in mass to stop the "moral decline of society". BLAH.
I did managed to shut up the ever yapping, high school educated receptionist at work by telling her: 1. I saw the movie, 2. I liked the movie, 3. I have gay friends, and 4. I support love in any form that doesn't involve a. children or b. animals.
She looked confused and went back to her cubicle. She didn't speak to me the rest of the day. It was wonderful.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Good byes, and ramblings
The house is under contract. I have been as brave as I know how to be. I have more memories in that house than anywhere else I have lived. More happy memories than those others combined. I became more "me" there than I ever thought possible. I could be who I was (still am) and not who everyone else needs me to be. And people still loved me...right...right...HEY, you out there confirm!
Here, I fight everyday not to be swallowed by that insecure girl/southern "f*^&%#@!" bell/housewife/meek blond everyone wants me to be.
Not one ounce of me wanted to sign that paper, but I did. I almost lost it though when someone asked if I really wanted to do this. I simply can't keep making two house payments, and a certain someone still doesn't want to go back.
I, however, still miss it all. Okay, well not the freezing walk from the parking lot to the office in the mornings, but I do miss Blue Tusk, Kitty Hoynes, and (sigh) my candy colored house. The true autumn and the actual happy people.
But we must forge ahead in life. No looking back right?
As Fiona Apple once sang,
"there are times when my mind does not shake and shiver, but most of the time it does."
It is only a matter of time until I have a breakdown and yell at everyone here. I know who I'm starting with. Anyone care to guess? It's not who you would think.
People should really think about the pressure they place on you. Telling someone your proud of them is wonderful, but don't do it every time you speak to them and combine it with their career (as it is precisely right now). It creates a kind of pressure to not fall back, not change, not rethink. Which is what I am all about--change. I can't stay in one place, or one job, or anything else for my entire life. I get panicky and want to run away from home. Maybe an island? I could live the Jimmy Buffet life style for a while? Be a nature tour guide?
Just a thought.
Later guys.
Here, I fight everyday not to be swallowed by that insecure girl/southern "f*^&%#@!" bell/housewife/meek blond everyone wants me to be.
Not one ounce of me wanted to sign that paper, but I did. I almost lost it though when someone asked if I really wanted to do this. I simply can't keep making two house payments, and a certain someone still doesn't want to go back.
I, however, still miss it all. Okay, well not the freezing walk from the parking lot to the office in the mornings, but I do miss Blue Tusk, Kitty Hoynes, and (sigh) my candy colored house. The true autumn and the actual happy people.
But we must forge ahead in life. No looking back right?
As Fiona Apple once sang,
"there are times when my mind does not shake and shiver, but most of the time it does."
It is only a matter of time until I have a breakdown and yell at everyone here. I know who I'm starting with. Anyone care to guess? It's not who you would think.
People should really think about the pressure they place on you. Telling someone your proud of them is wonderful, but don't do it every time you speak to them and combine it with their career (as it is precisely right now). It creates a kind of pressure to not fall back, not change, not rethink. Which is what I am all about--change. I can't stay in one place, or one job, or anything else for my entire life. I get panicky and want to run away from home. Maybe an island? I could live the Jimmy Buffet life style for a while? Be a nature tour guide?
Just a thought.
Later guys.
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