WARNING: Clif if you will be easily offended stop reading now!
Why did I do this to myself?
I'm so tired I can't even concentrate anymore. It takes actual effort to focus on every problem, and if I don't-- well my scores aren't pretty. I went from "pretty good" to "Oh God, I'm going to fail this thing."
I need this Thursday to be OVER! I need to drink my weight in vodka or whiskey, or ANYTHING.
Plus, I'm tired of seeing what I can't have and I don't like what I can have. It pisses me off. I had a truly amazing house and all I can get here is CRAP. (If it's not Scottish, It's crap! ----Sorry I had a Saturday Night Live flash back)
I see houses just out of my price range that I just can't afford. My old house won't sell, and my realtor is not helping. She doesn't realize I need that money for a down payment. If I had that or at least knew how much I was going to have, this search could be so much less stressful. Right now I'm just pissed off.
My normally high aggression level is climbing way out of control. I want someone to bleed, or at least hurt. I have no weights to take my aggression out on. I don't even have a gym membership down here, all I have is running (usually from rabid dogs with missing eyes).
Plus Clif keeps wanting to look for houses in areas I don't want to live. I need to be near something, not in a "subdivision" discuised as "downtown". Plus I don't want to be killed by drug dealers, or raped, or home invaded, should I keep going? I want nice neighbors like I had in Syracuse. (Preferably youngish and intelligent, with all their teeth.)
At least I finally got my hair cut right so that's a relief. I had way too much hair going on, it had been 6 weeks. I found my old stylist. He has his own place now in the very nice Frazier avenue area.
I did get a suprise present today from my very beloved, surrogate sister. I do so like suprise gifts, and she has a knack for it. I miss her very badly. Maybe someday I'll make it back to San Francisco, but I think more likely I'm UK bound. (Cross my fingers and hope).
I'm generally avoiding all books stores and anyone who looks like they might be a Harry Poter fan. My resolve is faltering and it won't take much for me to cave. I need to know that it isn't Remus.
I don't think I could handle it.
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3 comments:
Good luck. I feel the very same. I pray for all of my fellow Syracusians. I really really want everyone to do well, but after that MBE today...I think I'm outta the running.
the good folks at 408 say.... your neighbors miss you! And good bar karma was sent all week to all... Hi to you and Clif, and Steve and I hope you and the assorted animals are all recovering nicely. Did you hear we have a new baby elephant?
Zombie dogs are not much fun. Just give things some time. They will all work themselves out.
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