harry potter, bar exams, and frustration

WARNING: Clif if you will be easily offended stop reading now!


Why did I do this to myself?

I'm so tired I can't even concentrate anymore. It takes actual effort to focus on every problem, and if I don't-- well my scores aren't pretty. I went from "pretty good" to "Oh God, I'm going to fail this thing."

I need this Thursday to be OVER! I need to drink my weight in vodka or whiskey, or ANYTHING.

Plus, I'm tired of seeing what I can't have and I don't like what I can have. It pisses me off. I had a truly amazing house and all I can get here is CRAP. (If it's not Scottish, It's crap! ----Sorry I had a Saturday Night Live flash back)

I see houses just out of my price range that I just can't afford. My old house won't sell, and my realtor is not helping. She doesn't realize I need that money for a down payment. If I had that or at least knew how much I was going to have, this search could be so much less stressful. Right now I'm just pissed off.

My normally high aggression level is climbing way out of control. I want someone to bleed, or at least hurt. I have no weights to take my aggression out on. I don't even have a gym membership down here, all I have is running (usually from rabid dogs with missing eyes).

Plus Clif keeps wanting to look for houses in areas I don't want to live. I need to be near something, not in a "subdivision" discuised as "downtown". Plus I don't want to be killed by drug dealers, or raped, or home invaded, should I keep going? I want nice neighbors like I had in Syracuse. (Preferably youngish and intelligent, with all their teeth.)

At least I finally got my hair cut right so that's a relief. I had way too much hair going on, it had been 6 weeks. I found my old stylist. He has his own place now in the very nice Frazier avenue area.

I did get a suprise present today from my very beloved, surrogate sister. I do so like suprise gifts, and she has a knack for it. I miss her very badly. Maybe someday I'll make it back to San Francisco, but I think more likely I'm UK bound. (Cross my fingers and hope).

I'm generally avoiding all books stores and anyone who looks like they might be a Harry Poter fan. My resolve is faltering and it won't take much for me to cave. I need to know that it isn't Remus.
I don't think I could handle it.

Harry Potter

Okay, this is crazy.


I can't escape. Someone dies. I need to know who, but I can't know until I can read the book. Oh my lord and lady, I hope it isn't Remus. I feel relativaly safe it isn't if its a major character.

But the suspense is killing me. I thought a major character already died people---Serious Black.



I can't take this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HARRY POTTER

Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry POtter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter

Can you say obsessed?

I need this book. I must read the next book. NOW!!!!!!!!!!

I can't have this book until July 28th. I hate the Bar exam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
Harry Potter


AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends

Isn't it strange that the people you think you'll keep in touch with drift away, but you get suprised by those who make an effort to stay in touch. I got a suprise phone call today from someone I really didn't expect to hear from again.

It was nice and made me smile. Those are in short supply right now.

So if you read this, thank you.

UUUHHHHHGGGGGGGG

Let me just say the bar exam sucks!!!!!!!!! WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO US? ISN'T IT ENOUGHT THAT WE SURVIVED 3 YEARS OF LAW SCHOOL?

People in my Barbri class are cracking. The three days of PMBR have just been too much for us.

We have two weeks and I feel very not ready. I'm already wondering what I'll do if I fail. I have two tries, but sometimes drastic circumstances create drastic changes. Maybe I'll up end everyone and go back to Syracuse. I still really want to. I think about it everyday, sometimes all day (on and off).

I've written the reality of it off though. Maybe in 5 years or so, but not now. And by then my house will be gone. Someone else will be comforted by its loving walls and gurgling jaccuzi.

I've tried to shut up about my urge because I know I must be driving Jen (co-SU student) crazy. She has refused to let me leave, but she's mvoing to Australia after the Bar so she can't really talk.

There are all kinds of house-selling and buying issues. I can't keep up, I ignore them. At least until after the exam.

Clif ran the Boiler Maker today. I'm sure he did great. I imagine he's collapsing right about now though. I still marvel at a race where the runners get free bear afterwards. I don't get the logic. Let's all get dehydrated and then get drunk?

Maybe its a Syracuse summer thing. I don't know.